Larry, with an 'L'

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss (but a little wider)....

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:49:43 -0400

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss (but a little wider). Thanks, baby.

Angry email of the week

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:55:27 -0400

In reference to the Power Rankings, as usual, and complete with a dollop of southern hospitality.

«FEEDBACK:
Moron! Get used to keeping the Braves in the top 5. I bet that you are from the north, aren’t you? Do us a favor down here in the south; write what you want, just don’t visit. Braves are magic this year baby! And watch out for the Falcons, coming soon!

(Via The Daily Wh.at)

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:15:08 -0400

(Via The Daily Wh.at)

Very cool. Be sure to watch in HD.

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:20:37 -0400

Very cool. Be sure to watch in HD.

"It's like I'm a naked tornado"

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:31:00 -0400

"It's like I'm a naked tornado":

Not sure whether to feel for the guy or for all the people who had the bad fortune to come into contact with him over the years.

More George

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 10:02:41 -0400

More George

Hell of a week for the Yankee family. Thanks for it all, George.

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 10:04:24 -0400

Hell of a week for the Yankee family. Thanks for it all, George.

The LD his-n-her double-feature weekend five-word movie reviews: Role Models and The Kids Are All Right

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:22:33 -0400

Role Models: ”Let’s dance, Ben Affleck!” - awesome.

The Kids Are All Right: We’re totally watching Bruno next.

Between his Yankee and Giant duties, Bob Sheppard was as much...

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 11:35:55 -0400

Between his Yankee and Giant duties, Bob Sheppard was as much the voice of my youth as anyone not named Springsteen. Rest in peace.

super-bonus LD.com double-exclusive review: "The Decision"

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 11:42:10 -0400

What’d you expect?

After all the caterwauling about ESPN throwing itself prostrate at LeBron James’ feet, after the retweeted dispatches from double-secret ninja sources about the broadcast’s location and all the inferences of motive and intent made therefrom, did you really expect “The Decision,” during which James evacuated the contents of his bowels on the city of Cleveland, to be anything other than a shiny made-for-TV event?

Heading in, you knew it wasn’t going to be full-contact journalism. ESPN wasn’t about to cross mighty Mr. James, given its status as one of the league’s broadcast partners. The network allowed him to pick his interviewer - Jim Gray, about as cuddle-minded a reporter as one can find outside state-run television - and the site of the interview. He even had a say in which marketers had the privilege to hawk their products during the show. In short, this was an unprecedented arrangement.

Still, even accepting these limitations, “The Decision” scuffed every individual and organization involved with it, and did major harm to several. It was the Ebola virus of sports infomercials: Everyone who came into contact with it will need to spend a few weeks in the decontamination tent.

Take James himself. By elevating his decision into the realm of tele-spectacle, he trashed the goodwill he’d accumulated during his first seven years in the league. His monotone delivery and stammering responses to questions only slightly more involved than “who’s your favorite sitcom dad?” painted him as charisma-free, offering a stark contrast with his on-the-court intensity and joyousness.

Too, and this has little to do with the broadcast but everything to do with James’ marketability going forward, he nuked his “King James” brand by allying himself with superfriends Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. Kings, you see, are alpha dogs. They kick ass. They’re Michael Jordan and Bruce Springsteen and King Kong. They don’t ask for help; they conquer countries and dine from gilded troughs and claim upkeep expenses for their wench stable on their tax returns. After tonight, “Tri-Consul James” or “Executive Committee Corresponding Secretary James” are more appropriate tags. Good luck marketing the Zoom LBJ Co-Vice-Ambassador III, Nike.

Then there are the two sponsors featured most prominently during the hour: Bing and vitaminwater. Given their presence in the interminable moments leading up to the reveal, they’ll be associated for the immediate future with stalling - a particularly unfortunate brand connection for a speed-of-light search engine like Bing. As for vitaminwater, the company invited fans to ask James a question through its Facebook page. The one it selected had something to do with playing H-O-R-S-E against President Obama, and ESPN host Stuart Scott introduced it with “since you and vitaminwater go way back…”. Thus vitaminwater comes out of “The Decision” as James’ bestest, most sponsoriffic buddy, which won’t be a comfortable place to be in the days ahead.

And finally there’s ESPN. Again, nobody went into this thing expecting anything resembling journalism or objectivity. But in quipping and glad-handing its way through its highest-profile hour, the network crapped all over the excellent work done on a daily basis by its fleet of reporters, as well as by its “Outside the Lines” investigative team and the folks behind the superior “30 For 30” series of documentaries.

“The Decision” devoted its first 17 minutes to studio banter, rehashing the same arguments that any interested party with an Internet connection, TV, radio or sports-nut cubicle neighbor had heard hundreds of times over the last few weeks. It presented slo-mo highlights of thunderous dunks and displayed dummied-up photos of James in the uniforms of each of his suitors. It revealed the results of a “SportsNation” poll - because really, if there were ever a moment that viewers thirsted for the opinions of Internet bloviators, this was it.

In short, ESPN stalled. And when “The Decision” finally got around to the Decision-Maker himself - at 22 minutes after the hour - the interview packed all the wallop of a rainbow.

Among the questions Gray asked prior to the Mothra-huge announcement: “What was the major factor, the major reason for your decision?,” “Do you have any doubts about your decision?” and “Would you like to sleep on it some more?” James deftly parried the prosecutorial barrage with curt, flat answers (in order, paraphrasing: “To win,” “No” and “[giggle!]”).

But after James revealed his decision (“This fall, man, I’m gonna take my talents to South Beach”), Gray really started pulling his punches. The questions devolved from light and easy to positively airless (do you want to go through this again?, how will you fit in with Dwyane Wade?, etc.). And forget about cogent follow-ups. When James said he never wanted to leave Cleveland, Gray didn’t snap back with the most obvious question in the history of question-asking: “So, why did you, then?”

There were errors of omission as well. Gray didn’t bother asking about James’ contract - in-studio pundit Michael Wilbon did later in the broadcast - or about why Greenwich, Conn., was chosen as the site of the interview. Hell, Gray passed on the questions that a kindergartner with a homemade microphone fashioned from an empty paper-towel roll would’ve asked. Like, “If it’s only about winning, why not take a salary of $1 million so that the Heat can afford a supporting cast?” or “Uh, you realize that you and your family are going to have to leave Ohio, right?”

Wilbon did slightly better later in the show, asking James how he felt about Cleveland fans burning his jersey (James’ answer: “I can’t get involved in it”). After Jon Barry chimed in with a whimsical doozie of his own (“how long is it going to take for you to disrobe Mario Chalmers of the number 6 jersey he’s wearing?”) and some video highlights set to the strains of Eminem’s “Not Afraid” (read: “I have hired security personnel”), the show ended.

So that’s that. “The Decision” has been made and, ostensibly, ESPN has wrestled control of its satellites back from Team LeBron. I wish everybody involved great success in managing the fallout, because there’s going to be a ton of it. I’m going to go take a shower now.

I am, for better or worse, a pack rat. This is mostly for worse,...

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 18:05:00 -0400

I am, for better or worse, a pack rat. This is mostly for worse, as I accumulate piles upon piles of personal effluvia (cards, pictures, ticket stubs, etc.) and have no place to put them. I’d gotten into the habit of stashing everything at my parents’ house, in a single enormous drawer under the bed. When something went into that drawer, it never came back, man. It never came back.

Alas, my parents plan to move soon, which means I have a limited amount of time to organize and curate this magnificent archive of worthless shit. When I was home a few weeks ago, I grabbed several armfuls of stuff and lugged them back to NYC.

My wife did not agree with this decision.

So far, I’ve found many items of dubious provenance, including a pen (attached to a piece of paper reading “happy birthday, asshole”), a two-pack of pantyhose (unopened) and an unsanded square of wood that reads “1994 VESPY award for Achievement in Music” (actually, that one I totally earned). In short, my archival material rivals anything you might see in the Smithsonian. Amelia Earhart’s Lockheed Vega pales beside the mom-scrawled invitation to my 21st birthday party or the Playbill for the 1996 Goodspeed Opera House production of “Annie,” in which my sister played the role of “Star To Be.”

As I rifle through the pile, I’ll share some of its more notable (and scannable) treasures. This one came courtesy of the nice publicity folks at Atlantic Records. It dates back to the mid-1990s.

...says it's a dog's life, in a rope leash or a diamond collar

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 09:41:51 -0400

...says it's a dog's life, in a rope leash or a diamond collar

Uncle.

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:05:54 -0400

Uncle.

Happy birthday to George Steinbrenner and Al Davis

Sun, 04 Jul 2010 09:38:54 -0400

And also to this country of ours, which ranks very high as far as countries go - life, liberty, the pursuit of cheeseburgers, etc. Have a kick-ass, Bon Jovi type of afternoon.

Ten years ago tonight.

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 08:58:52 -0400

Ten years ago tonight.

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being "awesome" and 1 being "Dave Matthews," this is a 12

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 09:58:10 -0400

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being "awesome" and 1 being "Dave Matthews," this is a 12

Things you should watch/hear/do/eat/paint/fire at, vol. 1,265,875

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 16:34:56 -0400

Louis C.K.’s new FX show, Louie, which debuts tomorrow night. I’ve seen the first four eps. They are mean, meticulously observed and intimidatingly funny. Watch them.

Alternately, they could strive for excellence.

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 08:19:56 -0400

Alternately, they could strive for excellence.

You really ought to read "The Ask"

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 16:42:13 -0400

You really ought to read "The Ask":

It’s a mule-kick of a novel, and I mean that in the best possible way. Loved this paragraph (and about 674 other ones):

“I was also one of those people who hadn’t caught up with the latest social networking site. Maura belonged to most of them. She passed most evenings befriending men who had tried to date-rape her in high school, but I was still stuck in the last virtual community, a sad place to be, like Europe, say, during the Black Death. Whenever I cruised this site, with its favorites lists and its paeans to somebody’s cousin’s gas station art gallery, I could not help but think of medieval corpses in the spring-thaw mud, buboes sprouted in every armpit and anus, black bile curling out of frozen mouths. Those of us still cursed with life wandered the blasted dales of this stricken network, wept and moaned and flogged ourselves with frayed AC adaptors, called out for God to strike us dead, or else let us find somebody who liked similar bands.”

Buy it here.

Finally, my neighborhood has arrived.

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 00:36:46 -0400

Finally, my neighborhood has arrived.